Baby Refusing Bottle – Dealing with Bottle Refusal

Bottle refusal is exactly what it says on the tin – a breastfed baby refusing a bottle. As you can imagine, gently putting an end to bottle refusal is not always an easy task. Of course, in a perfect world, we wouldn’t ever have to worry about trying to persuade our breastfed babies to take a bottle (mostly because we worry about damaging the nursing relationship) but unfortunately, many mothers are forced to return to work a short while after giving birth. A baby refusing bottle can be an absolute nightmare to deal with, adding more stress to a time that may already be upsetting.

baby refusing bottle

I have lots of personal experience in dealing with babies not taking the bottle. Although Monkey, as a baby, was happy to switch between breast, bottle and binky without any difficulty at all, our youngest is a completely different kettle of fish. Squish was given a binky at the age of 5 weeks, and just two days of light use gave us a nasty case of nipple confusion causing him to refuse the breast. Once we dealt with that, we refrained from introducing any kind of teat until he was much older, missing the supposed Magic Window for bottle introduction. I didn’t have to return to work until much later, and our breastfeeding relationship was more important to me than getting him to accept a bottle. It wasn’t worth the risk.

Whilst we were trying to convince him to take a bottle, we literally tried everything. Aside one or two exceptions, I have not come across a tip or suggestion that we didn’t try. Here I will share everything I learnt while we were attempting to deal with a baby refusing a bottle, in the hope of providing a concise, step-by-step guide.

An important note: introducing bottles to a breastfed baby carries a risk of causing nipple confusion, lazy nursing or complete breast refusal. Please, please think carefully before introducing a bottle if your breastfeeding relationship is important to you. There are many other ways to get milk into a baby, so if you can avoid using a bottle it is wise to do so. However, I am fully aware that sometimes it can’t be avoided, and in that case please be aware of the problems that can arise and how to up your chances of avoiding them.

(For the record, we never succeeded in beating the bottle refusal. Some babies just never take to it, and that’s the way the cookie crumbles. As a compromise, we postponed my return to work for three months and I hope that, by the time I must return, we will be making headway with the sippy cup.)

Step One: Choosing a Bottle

A more accurate title for this section would be ‘Choosing a Teat’. After all, that’s the part that your baby will be in contact with and the part that will either attract or repel them.

The most obvious starting choice would be a breast-like bottle. There are plenty on the market, all promising to be just like mum. We tried the following:

Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature
Breastflow by The First Years
Adiri Natural Nurser

We had more success with these than we did with any of the others we tried, but the success was limited. The BreastFlow was his favourite; he would take about an ounce from that one in comparison to drops from the others.

The other bottles we tried were varied and many, including MAM, NUK, Avent, the Medela one that came with my breast pump and plenty of different generic brands. He laughed in the face of all of them. Of course, he would (and still will) glug cooled boiled water from any of them, but try putting breastmilk in and he gives you that look that says “hang on a minute, mum. This isn’t supposed to come from here. Pull the other one.”

It really is true that different bottles work for different babies. I joke that exclusively breastfed Squish owns more bottles than your average bottlefed baby! If something doesn’t work out, try something else. And then something else. Breast-like bottles are the obvious choice, but some babies (especially older ones) seem to get on better with something that is nothing like a breast at all. I have also heard great things about the Playtex Drop-Ins – apparently, because the teats are made of latex rather than silicone, they are softer and more breast-like in texture, and because the milk goes into a disposable, inner bag there is much less air in the bottle. We always steered clear of them because I didn’t feel comfortable using them – because of the small health risk from latex – but we are willing to give them a go at some point if we have no other option.

Step Two: Timing Is Everything

It is really important to pick the right time to practice with bottles. You want to be gently and positively encouraging without being forceful or stressing the baby out. After all, the goal is to get them to take milk from a bottle happily – any aggravation is only going to make that harder, and upset both of you.

Pick a time when baby is not too hungry or full, and not tired or grumpy. 30-60 minutes after a breastfeed is a good time, or perhaps a short while after a meal if your baby is eating solid foods. If baby becomes stressed, stop immediately and try again another time. Nothing encourages bottle refusal more than pushing the issue.

If your baby happily chews on the teat, allow them to do so. They may start sucking. Once they are comfortable with the bottle, you can try offering it at a time when you know they will be hungry to see if they will drink properly from it.

The amount you practice with bottles really depends on how desperate you are for baby to take them (and of course, how comfortable your baby is with it). If your return to work is imminent and you simply must get your baby accepting a bottle very soon, then you’ll want to practice often. Start practicing as soon as you can so you can take your time a little with it. The key is to get the baby familiar enough with a bottle so that they happily accept it as an alternate food source.

Step Three: Mum or Dad?

You may well find that if you try to offer the bottle, you will get nowhere. Bottle refusal often magically fixes itself if dad, or another caregiver, gives the baby the bottle. Remember too that your baby can smell you from quite a long distance, so you may have to leave the house altogether in order for them to accept that they can’t get the num-num’s straight from the tap.

In our case, the bottle refusal was actually worse when I left the house. He would chew on the bottles whilst I was there, but leaving the house caused him to go on hunger strike. It’s boob or nothing with this kid!

Step Four: Pick Your Position

Holding your baby in the traditional reclining position to give them a bottle may not work out for a breastfed baby. If mum is the one giving the bottle, it will almost certainly be too close to the real deal for them to willingly accept milk from a secondary source. If somebody else is feeding your child, the position may be too similar to a breastfeeding position. Again, try absolutely everything you can think of until you find something that works! Here are the positions we tried:

· Traditional reclining position
· Sitting up and having them hold the bottle if they are able – we had more luck with this but ultimately no dice
· Having daddy/caregiver hold them in a breastfeeding position with the bottle tucked under their armpit
· Sitting baby in an infant seat of some description
· Giving the bottle in the bath/in the garden/whilst walking around the house

Step Five: Relax!

Dealing with your baby refusing bottle can be really frustrating, especially since you will probably be working to a deadline. Trust me when I say that getting stressed about it will not help. Stay upbeat and positive about the whole process, because your baby will pick up on your frustration and upset very easily.

Miscellaneous Tips

  • Try very warm milk, cold milk and everything in between – it’s surprising how fussy babies can be about their milk.
  • Warm the teat under the hot tap before offering it to your baby.
  • Although silicone is safer, latex teats are more skin-like in texture and are worth trying if you have no luck with anything else.
  • Some babies don’t like breastmilk that has been previously frozen. Try pumping and offering it to your baby immediately, then working up to previously refrigerated milk before starting to use your freezer stash.
  • Some peoples’ breastmilk has an excess of lipase in it, which can, over time, make it taste bad. The lipase doesn’t affect the milk when it’s fresh, only when it has been stored (usually for a day or more, although some women report the milk to start tasting funky after just a few hours). If your frozen breastmilk has a rancid smell when thawed, you likely have an excess of lipase. The way to deal with this is to scald the breastmilk before freezing it. Heat the breastmilk in a pan on the hob to the point that small bubbles are forming at the edge, but not so that it reaches a proper boil. Once it has reached that point, quickly cool it and freeze it immediately. Heating the milk on the stovetop will not affect the breastmilk’s nutrients and antibodies, but microwaving it will, so avoid that if at all possible. Sadly enough, even breastmilk with some of the live aspects killed off via microwaving is still better for a baby’s stomach than formula.

OK, I’ve tried everything and nothing’s worked. What now?

You may find, like we have, that none of the above bears any fruit and that your baby is one of those babies that will never accept a bottle instead of the breast. If this is the case, please try not to worry as there are plenty of other ways to get your milk into your child. Yes, they’ll take some getting used to, but it’s possible.

  • Cup feeding – even very young babies can become accustomed to drinking from a cup. Use a proper cup to bring the liquid to the baby’s lips, and gently tip a few drops in. It will be messy to begin with but they will soon get the hang of it, and you will avoid any risk of nipple confusion. A Doidy Cup is a great choice – they are UNICEF baby-friendly and are highly recommended for breastfed babies. You can also try some of the various sippy cups on the market.
  • Syringe feeding – use an inexpensive syringe purchased from the chemist/drugstore to deposit the milk into baby’s mouth.
  • Finger feeding – A Supplemental Nursing System (SNS) is a tube attached to a bottle that is usually taped to the breast so that the baby can get milk from the tube whilst nursing. Instead, attach the tube to a finger and let the baby suck on your finger to get the milk. I once read a story online of a father who would actually let the baby suckle at his nipple with an SNS attached while the mother was working, because the baby would not accept milk any other way. Honestly, that’s a little too strange for me. Neither my husband nor I would be at all comfortable with that. But hey, each to their own, right?
  • Reverse cycling – most babies will simply learn to wait for their milk and make up for lost time by reverse cycling – drinking more through the night. This is obviously dependent on the age of the baby, but if they are eating solid foods and are happy to drink water from other sources, they will likely learn to just wait for mama’s boobs. If you are worried that they aren’t getting enough of your milk, you can sneak extra in by preparing some foods with expressed milk and maybe even making breast milk ice cubes/ice lollies for your baby to snack on – great for teething babies!

What are your top tips for dealing with bottle refusal? Did your baby refuse a bottle? If so, how did you cope?

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Readers' Questions

  • joona
    Why your baby is on a bottle strike and how to end it fast just?
    2 months ago
  • There could be various reasons why a baby goes on a bottle strike. Some common reasons include teething, illness, a change in taste preferences, or a desire for more independence. Here are some tips to help end a bottle strike quickly:
    1. Offer different nipples: Try using a different nipple flow or material to see if it makes the baby more interested in drinking from the bottle.
    2. Experiment with temperature: Some babies prefer their milk warmer or cooler, so try adjusting the temperature to see if it makes a difference.
    3. Introduce a sippy cup: If your baby is at an appropriate age, you can try transitioning to a sippy cup for milk or formula. Some babies prefer the independence and the different feel of a sippy cup.
    4. Modifying feeding environment: Create a calm and distraction-free environment during feedings. Minimize noise, bright lights, or other potential distractions that may discourage the baby from drinking.
    5. Let the baby feed themselves: If your baby is old enough, try letting them hold the bottle themselves and control the flow. This can provide a sense of independence and make feeding more enjoyable.
    6. Offer variety: Experiment with different types of milk or formula if your baby has a strong preference for one taste over another. Consult with your pediatrician before changing the brand or type of milk or formula.
    7. Seek professional advice: If the baby strike continues for an extended period or if you are concerned about their hydration and nutrition, it is recommended to consult with a pediatrician or a lactation consultant for guidance and assistance.
    8. Remember, every baby is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Patience, perseverance, and seeking professional advice when needed are key to quickly resolving a bottle strike.
    • Rudolph
      When your baby refuses the bottle here s how to deal with it in 2021?
      4 months ago
    • Dealing with a baby who refuses the bottle can be a challenging experience for any parent. Here are some tips to help you navigate this situation in 2021:
      1. Determine the cause: Start by identifying the reason behind your baby's refusal. It could be due to teething, illness, developmental changes, a dislike for the taste of formula or milk, or a preference for breastfeeding. Understanding the cause will help you address the issue more effectively.
      2. Offer different temperatures: Experiment with different bottle temperatures to find the one your baby prefers. Some babies may prefer warm milk, while others may prefer it at room temperature. Avoid using hot liquids and always check the temperature before feeding.
      3. Try different bottles and nipples: Babies have preferences when it comes to bottle types and nipple shapes. Experiment with different models to find one that suits your baby's preferences. Some bottles mimic breastfeeding by using a wide base and a soft, flexible nipple.
      4. Introduce sippy cups or alternative feeding methods: If your baby is older than six months, you can introduce a sippy cup or try alternative feeding methods such as a spoon, bowl, or syringe. Gradually transitioning from the bottle to a cup may help your baby accept other forms of feeding.
      5. Involve your partner or another caregiver: Sometimes, a baby may refuse the bottle simply because they associate it with their primary caregiver. Having someone else offer the bottle may help overcome this preference.
      6. Nourish during sleep: If your baby tends to refuse the bottle when awake, try offering it during sleep or while drowsy. Babies may be more receptive to feeding when they are more relaxed and less aware of their surroundings.
      7. Seek professional advice: If the issue persists, consult your pediatrician or a lactation consultant. They can assess your baby's overall health, evaluate breastfeeding techniques if applicable, and provide personalized guidance to address the bottle refusal.
      8. Remember, every baby is unique, and it may take some trial and error to find the right solution. Be patient, and try to maintain a calm and positive approach while addressing the bottle refusal issue.
      • Fabiana
        When baby refuses bottle baby refuses bottle parenting inspiration?
        6 months ago
      • When a baby refuses a bottle, it can be a frustrating and challenging situation for parents. However, with some patience, creativity, and inspiration, you can find ways to encourage your baby to take a bottle. Here are some tips:
        1. Assess the situation: Try to identify why your baby may be refusing the bottle. It could be due to teething discomfort, a dislike of a particular bottle or nipple, or a desire for breastfeeding instead. Understanding the underlying reason can help you address it more effectively.
        2. Experiment with different bottles and nipples: Babies have different preferences, so try different bottles and nipple shapes to see if your baby responds better to a different type. Some babies may dislike bottles with a wide nipple, while others may prefer a certain texture or size.
        3. Adjust feeding positions: Experiment with different feeding positions to find one that your baby finds comfortable and enjoyable. Some babies may prefer to be held in a specific way or have a particular angle while feeding.
        4. Mimic breastfeeding: If your baby is used to breastfeeding, try mimicking the breastfeeding experience as much as possible. Hold your baby close to your body, make eye contact, and gently stroke their cheek or offer skin-to-skin contact to create a soothing and familiar environment.
        5. Introduce bottle in a calm environment: Find a calm, quiet environment free from distractions when introducing the bottle. This will help your baby focus on feeding and not get overwhelmed by external stimuli.
        6. Use familiar scents and tastes: If possible, express a small amount of breastmilk onto the nipple or around the bottle to familiarize your baby with the familiar smell and taste. This can help make the transition easier.
        7. Involve another caregiver: Sometimes, a baby may refuse the bottle when their primary caregiver is present because they associate the caregiver with breastfeeding. Involve another caregiver, like your partner or a trusted family member or friend, to offer the bottle. The absence of the primary caregiver may encourage the baby to accept the bottle.
        8. Gradual transition: Rather than suddenly replacing all breastfeeds with bottle feeds, consider a gradual transition. Start by offering one bottle feed a day and gradually increase as your baby becomes more comfortable.
        9. Seek professional advice: If you are struggling to get your baby to take a bottle or if their refusal persists, consult a pediatrician or a lactation consultant. They can provide guidance specific to your baby's needs and offer additional support.
        10. Remember, every baby is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Keep trying different strategies, stay calm, and have patience. With time, your baby may become more open to taking a bottle.
        • silke
          How to deal with bottle refusal?
          6 months ago
        • Bottle refusal can be frustrating for both parents and babies. Here are a few strategies to help deal with bottle refusal:
          1. Evaluate the temperature: Ensure that the milk or formula is at an appropriate temperature. Babies may refuse bottles if the liquid is too hot or too cold.
          2. Experiment with different bottles and nipples: Some babies might prefer a specific type of bottle or nipple. Try different brands or nipple shapes to find one that your baby finds comfortable and familiar.
          3. Offer the bottle during calm moments: Babies are more likely to accept a bottle when they are calm and relaxed. Avoid offering the bottle when your baby is overly hungry, tired, or fussy.
          4. Let someone else try: Sometimes, babies refuse bottles from their primary caregivers but accept them from someone else, such as a partner or family member. It might be helpful to have someone else try feeding the baby.
          5. Gradual transition: If your baby is transitioning from breastfeeding to bottle feeding, try introducing the bottle gradually. Start with a few ounces of breast milk or formula in a bottle while continuing to breastfeed for the majority of the feeds. Slowly increase the amount in the bottle over time until your baby accepts it fully.
          6. Try different feeding positions: Some babies prefer to be held in specific positions while being fed. Experiment with different positions, such as holding your baby in an upright or reclined position, until you find one that works.
          7. Be patient and persistent: Be patient and keep offering the bottle regularly. It may take some time for your baby to adjust and accept the bottle. Don't force the bottle, but continue to offer it at regular intervals.
          8. If the bottle refusal continues or causes concern, it is advisable to reach out to your baby's pediatrician for further guidance and support.
          • robin
            When your baby refuses the bottle here s how to deal with it in 2020 baby refuses bottle?
            6 months ago
          • When your baby refuses to take the bottle, it can be frustrating and concerning. However, there are several tips and strategies you can try to help resolve this issue. Here's how to deal with it in 2020:
            1. Determine the cause: Understand why your baby is refusing the bottle. It could be due to teething, illness, discomfort, preference for breastfeeding, or a change in the nipple shape or flow. Identifying the cause can guide your approach.
            2. Try different temperatures: Experiment with the temperature of the milk or formula. Some babies prefer it warmer, closer to body temperature, while others might prefer it slightly cooler. Find the temperature that works best for your baby.
            3. Experiment with different bottles and nipples: Different bottles and nipple shapes may be more appealing to your baby. Try different styles to find one that your baby likes. Consider using a nipple with a slower or faster flow depending on their preference.
            4. Ask someone else to feed: Sometimes, babies refuse the bottle when they associate it with the mother. If possible, ask another caregiver or family member to feed your baby. The baby might be more willing to accept the bottle from someone else.
            5. Introduce bottle during non-hungry times: Offer the bottle when your baby is not overly hungry. Trying to introduce the bottle when your baby is already very hungry might further frustrate them. Offer the bottle during calm moments, such as after a nap.
            6. Gradually transition: If your baby is used to breastfeeding, it might take time to transition to a bottle. Start by offering pumped breast milk in a bottle while comforting and cuddling your baby. Slowly increase the amount of milk given from the bottle until they become more comfortable with it.
            7. Explore different positions: Experiment with different feeding positions. Some babies prefer to be held in a certain way while being bottle-fed, such as with their head slightly elevated or in a more upright position.
            8. Be patient and persistent: It may take time for your baby to adjust to the bottle. Stay calm, patient, and persistent. Keep offering the bottle regularly, and eventually, your baby may start accepting it.
            9. Seek professional advice: If your baby consistently refuses the bottle and struggles with feeding, consult your pediatrician or a lactation consultant for further guidance. They can examine your baby's overall health and provide specific strategies tailored to your situation.
            10. Remember, every baby is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Be open to trying different approaches until you find what works best for your baby.
            • ciriaca
              When your baby refuses the bottle here s how to deal with it?
              10 months ago
            • If your baby refuses the bottle, there are a few strategies you can try. First, be sure that the bottle is the right size and shape for your baby, and that you are using a nipple that allows him to control his milk flow. If he still refuses, try offering the bottle in a different way. For example, instead of holding the bottle while he feeds, try propping it up for him or burping him after each few swallows. You can also try breastfeeding first, then offering a bottle of expressed breast milk. Finally, keep in mind that the occasional bottle refusal is normal and may not be cause for alarm.